As they escorted me to the execution room I felt nothing but regret. I was truly sorry for what I had done and at that moment I would’ve given anything to rewrite the past and have a second chance at life. My face probably gave off the expression of a stone cold killer who deserved to be put down but that was because on the inside, I felt like I was already dead. I entered the room with the electric chair and sat down. They strapped me down, shaved my head, and blindfolded me. The longer they went on the harder my heart pounded. Then a priest came in and read some shit from the Bible then I was given the opportunity to give any last words. “Just kill me.” I only said this because I was anxious and wanted it over with, if I had the strength to say something else I probably would’ve said I’m sorry. Then, over two thousand volts of electricity was zapped into my body and I was unconscious, after a second shock I was dead.
I awoke surrounded by clouds and I was floating on nothing. There was no sun in the sky but a bright light still shone down on me. “Greetings troubled one.” A lady’s voice echoed and in front of me slowly fading into existence was a gorgeous woman with long blue hair and blue eyes wearing white robes with gold accents. I asked her, “Who the hell are you?” She replied, “My name is Soaria, Goddess of the sky. And you are in the afterlife.”
I looked down in disappointment and said, “Oh, yeah… I remember now.” The Goddess asked me, “Why do you look so troubled?” I responded, “My life is over for good now and I never got a chance to make things right.”
The Goddess came closer and said to me, “Well, If you believe you’ll be punished for an eternity for the things you’ve done in the past, that is not the case! You will have the opportunity to right your wrongs and your soul can be redeemed!” “Wait, Seriously? How?” I asked.
“Let me explain…” She said, “There is no such thing as heaven or hell, only reincarnation. Whenever someone dies, one of the gods will judge them and reincarnate them into a world they seem fit. Good people are sent to the nice worlds and bad people are sent to worlds so bad they might as well be hell. Since this is your first offense you’re still getting sent to one of the terrible worlds, but you’ll be able to keep all your memories from your past life and it’ll be your job to help out as many people as possible and on the way you’ll discover what it means to be a good person and the next God to judge you will let you back into one of the good worlds.”
I can’t believe my ears. This sounds too good to be true. “So…” she said, “Does this sound like something you’re up for?” “Yes.” I replied without hesitation. “Good!” She responded, “Now this world is extremely dangerous so in order to make sure to live long enough to make a difference, I’ll allow you to bring one item of your choice with you. And this item can be anything, like a magic sword or some powerful armor. Anything you can imagine you can bring with you.”
“Anything huh?” I started to think. “Hmm… can you tell me a little bit more about what this world I’m going to is like?” She replied, “Of course! The planet you’re being sent to consists of two major continents and an island archipelago. The continent you’ll be sent to is a medieval, post-apocalyptic, wasteland that was destroyed by magic of mass destruction during a great war.”
I asked her, “What’s magic of mass destruction?” She replied, “Think of nukes but replace uranium with magic.” Then I asked her, “Is it radioactive?” She responded, “No, however the soil quality near the blast sites have decreased significantly and life struggles to survive there. Ferocious beasts, savage bandits and dangerous monsters roam the land. It’s near impossible to find a safe haven and people are constantly on the run. In addition, The land’s harsh nature tends to drive those who are good towards the path of darkness. Everyone everywhere is in desperate need of a hero!”
“Alright.” After thinking for a little while, and weighing the pros and cons of different items I could bring, I realized I needed to know something important. “Will I be able to use magic when I go there?”
“Yes,” she said, “you’ll have the same abilities as any other human born from that world, you’ll even be able to speak their language. But, you’ll have to learn magic from scratch and good luck finding someone who will teach you… Magic in this world is hard to come by nowadays due to the fact that many spell books have been destroyed and the only other means of learning spells is through direct teaching, meaning spells have mostly been passed down through the generations of bandit groups, nomads, and small settlements.”
“Hmm alright…” I said quietly. “Have you decided on your item yet?” the goddess asked. “Yeah I think so.” I replied. “Great, what will you choose?” Asked the goddess. “I’m gonna bring my gun.” I said with excitement. “Alri- wait… what did you say?” the goddess asked in confusion.
“I wanna bring my Glock-9 with a switch.” After I said that the goddess looked at me like I was crazy. “What’s wrong? Can I not bring it?” I asked. “Uh- you can… but… wouldn’t it be smart to take something that could also assist you with defense?” The goddess suggested. “People use guns for self defense all the time!” I shouted. “Now is not the time for jokes! Besides, what are you gonna do if you run out of ammo?”
“Oh… right.” I felt kinda stupid. “Why do you want to bring a gun anyway?” The goddess asked.
“If magic is rare and most people would be running around with swords and shields, then I thought it’d be pretty easy just to go around shooting people and even if I do run into a mage my bullets would be faster than some fireball.” I said. “I see…” she said under her breath.
“I’m not sure what the monsters there are like either but guns are good for fighting off wild animals on Earth so I figured they’d be good where I’m going too.”
“Well, if you really want to bring your gun there is a way I could make it work.” The goddess said. “Huh? Really? How!?” I said excitedly.
“I can alter your gun to shoot out magic bullets rather than normal ones. These bullets will drain your mana, but they will cost much less to use than a normal spell. Besides that, it’ll behave just like a normal Glock-9… uhh, with a switch.”
“Awesome! Thank you so much!” I started getting a little emotional. After all those years behind bars I thought I’d never get a second chance at anything. “Thank you.” I said to the goddess. “You have no idea how bad I’ve wanted to live a good and honest life again. This means the world to me, I seriously can’t thank you enough!” The goddess smiled. “There’s no need to thank me. Just go forth, become the hero that makes this world a better place and come back strong and wise.” A bright blue beam of light came down from the sky on top of me and I began slowly rising in the air. I looked up and saw a portal that led to the other world. “One more thing!” The goddess shouted. “You mustn’t give up on your journey. If you do anything to intentionally get yourself killed or try to cut your journey short, I will send you right back!” She said. “Alright! Promise I won’t!” I replied. “Great, now farewell troubled one and best of luck to you.” The goddess said. Just like that, I woke up in a completely different world.
All I had with me was my gun and my old prison jumpsuit. I’d like to have some different clothes but I guess nobody from this world will recognize it so it doesn’t matter. The first thing I noticed was that the sky had a purple haze and all of the grass around me was dead. There were a few dead trees nearby, each one of them held multiple bodies hanging from nooses and after some more looking around, I noticed every tree in the area had rotting corpses or skeletons hanging from them. I was surrounded by vast flat plains with a mountain range off in the distance to the south I think and a forest far to the west. The trees in the forest still looked green so I started walking in that direction. During my walk I saw lots of unique small animals and critters but none of the dangerous monsters or beasts like the goddess mentioned. Most of the animals I saw were about the size of a hamster, but they were ferocious as hell. Everything I got close to would pounce up at me with sharp teeth or claws, but one shot from my gun was enough to fight off anything I ran into.
After some more walking, I came across the ruins of an old village. Most of the buildings were destroyed to the point they’d be useless as a shelter except for one. A partially destroyed house that had been amateurly rebuilt stood near the middle of the ruins. As I approached it, I noticed two bandits standing guard outside. One of them wore tattered clothes and had a bow and arrow, the other was wearing torn up leather armor and he had an ax with a shield. “Hey you!” One of them called out to me. “Where’re you goin?” They immediately readied their weapons. “I’m just passing by!” I responded. “Oh yeah? Drop all your stuff on the ground and go back the other way!” This is ridiculous, these guys have no idea I could send them both to heaven with my finger. I’d even help them out too if they asked, the goddess wouldn’t want me to kill first people I meet.
“Ya’know, it’d be easier for both of us if you just let me go.” I said. “Really, why’s that?” The bandit asked. “Have you ever heard of Swiss cheese?” I replied. “Huh? What the fuck is that?” One of the bandits said. “Oh… uh nevermind. Listen, I just don’t wanna have to hurt you guys.” I said. “Oh you think you’re tough shit huh?” The one with the ax charged at me. I readied my gun and shot him in the head before he could get close. The one with the bow tried to ready an arrow as quick as he could but I shot him before he got the chance. The gunshots were loud and soon the rest of the bandits came outside. These guys looked like the wackiest group of people I’ve ever seen. They all wore a combination of medieval and semi-modern clothing and armor. One dude looks like a full blown chivalrous ass knight in shining armor, next to him was a dude with no armor or clothes he just had a bunch of shields tied to his body using belts, and another one has on nothing but a gas mask and a speedo. The other guys outside looked like normal bandits, these guys look like psychos. They looked down at their comrades then charged at me with no hesitation. I shot one of them down, then another, then another, then they slowed down. I shot another and after that they all ran off in different directions, except for one. The one wearing the gas mask just stood there and stared at the bandit I just shot. After a short minute he looked back at me, pointed at the dead bandit, and screamed. “Do that to my dick!”
“Ummm… what?” I asked. “Do that to my dick!” He said while pointing back and forth between the dead bandit and his crotch area. “You want me to shoot you in the dick?” I said confusingly. “YESSSSS!” He cried out. What the hell is wrong with this guy? “Do it to my dick! Do it to my dick! Do it to my dick!” He screamed over and over again.
“Alright alright, chill out.” I took out my gun and shot him in the dick. He fell down to the ground and started rolling around while holding his crotch and screaming in pain. I don’t know what he thought was gonna happen but during his whimpering I heard him say “Thank you.” I left the cuckoo head outside and went to check out the building. I’ll probably need to use this place as a shelter for the night. When I went inside I noticed in the corner of the room was a tied up young girl with blonde hair and pointy ears. I think she’s an elf, but she’s wayyy too young for me. I gotta find out where she’s from so I can bone her mom or something, I haven’t been with a chick since I was locked up.
I started to approach her but she looked scared. I told her everything was going to be fine and cut her loose with a dagger I found on one of the tables. “Who are you?” She asked. “I’m just passing by.” I replied. “Why did you save me?” She asked. “Why not?” I replied. “What do you want from me?” She asked. “I wanna bang your mom.” I said sarcastically. The little elf girl started crying. “Wait wait wait, hey look I didn’t mean it ok. I’m not gonna bang your mom I promise.” I probably shouldn’t have said the I promise part but the girl started to calm down a bit.
I looked around the room and saw there was food on the table that the bandits were eating and part of it was untouched. I haven’t ate anything since my last meal so I grabbed a piece of meat and took a bite. “Hey are you hungry? Want some food?” I asked the elf with my mouth full. She shook her head no. I continued eating while she sat in the corner in the fetal position.
“Why didn’t you just leave me tied up?” The girl asked. “Uhhh why would I?” I asked. “You aren’t worried I’ll try to kill you?” She said. “Are you going to kill me!?” I yelled. She quickly shook her head no. “Well then we’re good.” I told her.
“Where did you come from?” The elf asked. “I came from somewhere far away, you haven’t heard of it.” I replied. “Oh…” She said. “What about you?” I asked. “Me and my mom ran away from the forest when I was really young. We’ve been wandering around ever since.” She said. “Do you know where your mom is?” I asked. “The bandits ate her…” she said slowly and quietly.
Aww damn it, I spat out the food and started gagging. The elf looked upset, I gotta change the subject fast. What can I talk about though? Is there anything good about this world?
“Hey, can you tell me something you like about this place? Are there any cool places or cute animals around here?” I asked. “There’s a place I’ve always wanted to visit. It’s a pre-war city that was able to defend itself from the magic of darkness. My mom used to call it the last city in the world.”
“Is the city still around?” I asked. She nodded her head “I think so.” “Then why haven’t you gone there?” I asked. “It’s the capital of one of the old kingdoms far to the south. To get there we’d either have to travel through the desert or the jungle. Both are far too dangerous.”
“Well damn… are there any other settlements you know about?” I asked. “There are the elves in the forest.” She said. “Oh right, why did you guys run away from there?” I asked. “I’m only a half elf. The elves hate humans, and my mom fell in love with one. When the rest of the village found out we had to run away.”
“Oh, I see… Do you know why the elves hate humans?” I asked. “My mom said it’s because they drove them from their home and forced them to live in the forest. They also don’t like what their magic did to the land.”
“Ah, ok.” It just dawned on me, where am I gonna take her? There’s gotta be some small village somewhere I can drop her off at, or maybe I could convince a group of bandits to take her in… I don’t know if the goddess would like it if I did that. I could try convincing the elves to take her back but I don’t know how hostile they’ll be. Am I stuck with her? I didn’t sign up to be a babysitter! This is starting to feel like the plot of one of those bad anime I used to watch except there are no bad bitches and this world is ass! I guess I’ll worry about what I’m doing with her in the morning, the sun is starting to set and I need some rest.
Isekai: God Let Me Keep My Glock 